A dream stays a dream if you are too scared to pursue it.
I’ve just arrived home carrying a bag with written notebooks, a couple of folders and other personal stuff I had back in the office. My work computer is all cleaned up, as is my work email inbox. It is done.
I have officially left my steady full-time job to pursue my dream of becoming an artist. Even though I haven’t completely figured that out yet.
It took me months of deliberation following my severe burnout diagnosis from last year to finally come to this decision. And I’m not gonna lie… this has easily been the scariest decision I’ve ever made, and at the same time the easiest, in a way. While my day job provided me with financial stability, it didn’t make me feel fulfilled, optimistic or rewarded in any way. In fact I was pretty unwell in every other aspect of my life; I dreaded waking up and going to work every single morning, I distanced myself from family and friends, I lost confidence in myself and I became chronically exhausted, anxious, depressed and (a lot more) difficult to deal with. I ended up neglecting my own health and well-being. And eventually, it all ended up in a terrible mental collapse.
When the world we live in feels too constrained, our eyes lift to the horizon. The endlessness of the world calls for us to depart from our lives and become a part of the unknown. In this space beyond the veil of the familiar, adventure awaits.
For so long I kept ignoring that little voice screaming at me, pleading me to follow my heart and take the leap of faith. I was too afraid to leave the familiar. Until now. We’re really going for that fresh start, guys. And damn does it feel liberating now!
I left my company today feeling hopeful and satisfied. I don’t know what lies ahead, but I know I’m proud for finally standing up for myself and my wishes, even if that means going after the unknown. For a very long, long time, this change felt nothing but impossible, but now we’re here. No regrets. “Life is too short to be living someone else’s dream.”
And what about now, you probably ask?
For now, I’m working on becoming more self-aware. I am still on the path to recovery, and there are things I still need to know about myself before I can navigate unpredictable winds more effectively and confidently.
Art courses and applications to self-employment programs are in order. I’m not ready to talk much about it yet, but I’m working things out and I’m blessed to have the help of experienced people throughout this process.
As for art projects, I’m also taking one step at a time- which means I’ll keep focusing on Patreon stuff for the next couple of months. I have lots of ideas for exciting projects, but gotta take things slowly lest I have a burnout relapse. I’m getting there, though.
Recovering from burnout is a very tough journey, but overall I feel a lot healthier and happier than I did back in November. I’m learning not to put so much pressure on myself and to rebalance my goals. By now, I’ve recovered most of the healthy habits I’d lost in the last couple of years. I’m taking care of myself.
At this point I’m just beyond grateful for the opportunity to bring some well-needed changes into my life. And even if this doesn’t work out in the end, I know I’ll be happy to say that at least I’ve tried. The last 6 months have been quite the phase… and there are no words to describe how thankful I am for all the support and all those who believe in me. I can’t wait to share my progress on this new journey with you guys!
Here’s to new beginnings!